Dating and Sex -- Should You or Shouldn't You?
This is a relationship nightmare, especially on the first couple of dates when you are still trying to figure out whether or not you even like the person that you're dating and if they're as sincere about things as they seem to be.
The general rule seems to be that you should never sleep with a date until at least the third date. There's no real logic but it does mean that you get a little breathing space before you start feeling that you 'should' be having sex! The general consensus is that you should never have sex on a first date because that's going to get you a reputation for being 'easy'!
General consensus and opinions aside, whether or not you have sex on a date -- and which date -- is only up to one person (well two if you want to include your partner's opinion on the matter), and that's you! Only you know whether or not you are comfortable enough with your date to want to jump in bed with him. No-one else really has the right to tell you that it's too early and it's not the done thing, or for that matter to pressure you into something that you're not ready for when you've had a dozen dates with your partner and haven't got past a chaste kiss on the cheek! Only you know when you're ready to make that physical bond.
The worst situation with dating and sex is when there is an expectation that your date has created. They are clearly anticipating an intimate experience with you during or after the date. If you're up for it, that's great. If you're not, then you need to get this out in the open as soon as possible and give your date a chance to find another bed partner for the night if that's all they're looking for.
Don't feel guilty about saying 'no' on this subject to your date. Honesty now is better than getting them angry and feeling that you led them on later in the evening. It's also better feeling guilty with them than feeling bad about yourself because you caved in to their expectations and did something that you didn't want to do.
Listen to your mind and your body. They will tell you when the time is right to take your relationship to the next level. This could very well be within the first couple of dates if the chemistry is right and your intuition is telling you that your date is not just in the relationship for sex.
On the other hand, it could be quite some time -- especially if you've had a bad experience in the past after sleeping with a date early on in the relationship -- before you're ready. Remember, there's only one person's opinion on when sex becomes an option within the relationship, and that's yours!
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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